The famous smile that will be missed along Taft and Vito Cruz.

Who was Jenny? Why was he popular? Why was he loved? Why was his life celebrated and his death received an out-pouring sadness from the students and alumni of the two prestigious academic institutions (DLSU and CSB) in the Philippines? Why was he given respect that he has a Facebook Fan Page? What did he do to deserve such treatment even in death?

Was he a student or an alumnus of DLSU or CSB? No! Was he a professor? No! Was he a staff member of any of the two institutions? No! Who was he, then?

Jenny was a gay personality in the vicinity of DLSU and Vito Cruz corner Taft Avenue. Where the De La Salle and College of St. Benilde students were he was there! He was an errand boy, a help and say any job similar to those he was the answer!

He was featured in the university’s paper. And when one of the first online social networks (Friendster) started to be known he was given an account. He lived by the generosity of the students of these two famous campuses. I heard that some students were able to open for him a bank account for his savings (though I wasn’t able to confirm).

What did he do to deserve such respect and love? He was there for the students, he helped them and he cared for them!

Those were the three things he did so the students also loved him, helped him, and cared for him, when he was still alive and now that he passed away many are willing to help and attend to his wake and interment, just to give honor and respect for the person who was there for them!

One big lesson anyone can learn from the example of Jenny’s life is: to be there for the people, help them in their needs and care for them.

Thank you Jenny for your life’s example! See you in the life-after-here!

Bloody procession!

This coming Friday is one of the most bloody Fridays of the year in the Philippines. This bloody day, a part of the Lenten Season is planned – infact there is people exodus going on in the major cities to have both religious and grand weekend long vacation to visit families and to see bloody bodies (not by accidents but by choice).

One of the most popular visited places during this Lenten Times is the one in Maleldo, Pampanga, where selected men of the village are nailed on the cross as penitents.

Crucifixion at Maleldo, Pampanga

Why are we practicing this?

We Filipinos are cultural Christians, thinking that to do certain religious piety or make ourselves suffer will make God love or care for us more or will make Him considerate to give our prayer requests, the like of ’suertes’ for the year and good health.

To note sadly, the least that we think of during Holy Friday, even if all the processions and pious practices are around, is the real essence of God’s sacrificial act of LOVE by giving His ONLY Son to carry in Himself the sins He did not commit but ours.  So that we may be guiltless and will not suffer the painful consequence of our sins in hell!

During that time He became the BAD one not us:

• He was the cheating employee, the selfish businessman, the corrupt government official.
• He was the flirting wife, the adulterer husband, the disobedient child.
• He was the hold upper, the murderer, the drug addict, the sexual abuser.
• He was the lustful man, the self-absorbed vain lady, the extravagant yuppy.

Name all the sins we commit and those He took, was punished and died so that we can now run free from the eternal horrible penalty.

By reading this, I hope that you will appreciate that act on the CROSS by Jesus.

To end this post let me share with you a beautiful verse in the last book of the Bible: “…Jesus Christ, who is the first witness…the ruler of the kings of the earth…Him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by His blood, and has made us to be a kingdom…to serve His God and Father.” (Revelation 1: 5, 6)

AWAKEN PASSION

Dormant long time resting passion…
…awaken with many a question…
…thought ’twas forgotten & not there.
Now it woke up…so seems not fair.

I pray that it is just a gale…
…that will fly & go as it hail.
To let it rest I’ll put a veil.
Then I will say ’so long…farewell!’

To answer that question, I would like to present a similarity between physical wound and emotional wound!

Healing of a physical wound is natural but it takes time because healing is a process. Sometimes, specially when the wound is fatal and an infection occurs, a medical intervention is necessary to facilitate good healing. Aside from that, every wound leaves scar, because it damages skin tissues. This scar remains even if the pain is not there anymore. The healing maybe complete but it leaves unfavourable souvenirs!

A scar is a reminder of the wound but the pain isn't there anymore!

Same is true with any offense that causes emotional pain. It is like a knife that slices a wound. It can be very nasty with emotional pain! It is not always good! It can create chaos in life, its healing isn’t easy, it takes time!

God asks us to forgive immediately, like the way He forgives us! He asks us to give Him our anger, our bitterness and hatred and allow Him to handle vengeance! But forgetting the offense, the harm, the hurt and trusting again is another thing. It is like healing, it is a process. It has to be dealt with time. Trust has to be regained!

There are times that we will not forget the offense and the harm but the pain will not be felt anymore. Remembrance of the painful incidents becomes a reminder for the offense not to happen again. It is a reminder that if we sense circumstances leading to an offense and hurt, we learn to excuse ourself from those!

Even if the healing is taking some time, what’s important is to forgive the person who offended us…because in doing so the healing happens!

I pray that we will learn to forgive immediately and bear the memory of the offenses until the time will come when we won’t remember the excruciating emotional pain caused by the offenses and harms done to us!

Bless your emotional healing time!

“We all know it is very easy to say ‘forgive and ask for forgiveness’ but it is an insurmountable task to do!”

Why is it so?

Because most of the times we are paralyze by the fear of the possible pain during the confrontation, so we don’t make a move to ask for an apology or offer forgiveness.

Yet in reality having a severed relationship is more painful than the confrontation. Check it out by asking those people whose families had broken relationships and didn’t move at all for reconciliation and you will hear from them extreme emotional pains.

This time, let us survey what did the Word of God, being the best life standard, says about this difficult act of forgiving and asking for forgiveness.

Mending broken relationships are like mending broken delicate Vases!

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  FORGIVE AS THE LORD FORGAVE YOU.” (Colossians 3:13)

• We’ve got a lot of grievances for someone and someone else have grievances against us, but we’ve got to BEAR with each other.
• Forgive because when you don’t these grievances will become bitterness and hatred, then it will transform you to become suspicious  and miserable.
• Do not allow hurt, anger and bitterness eat you up, it is awful, terribly awful! Try it if you want!
• Forgive immediately! Ask for forgiveness immediately! Do it ASAP as the Lord forgave you! The person who offended you doesn’t need to do something to be forgiven. You don’t have to wait for a sign for you to ask for an apology.

You may ask, how should I forgive immediately, does it mean forgetting the offense? That will be the topic of the next blog!

It is very spontaneous for us to hurt someone, intentionally or unintentionally, and it is normal to feel very bad when someone offends us. Much more, we LOVE to keep that hurt until it becomes hatred which eventually transforms us to be a very bitter person...although we clearly know how awfully bad it is to avenged the offenses done to us, we continue to do so because it is our human nature.

My recent blog says ‘nurture your existing relationship because it is hard to regain a broken relationship.’ But when the relationship is already broken I have mentioned in my introductory blog on relationship: ‘It is godly to forgive those who hurt you and to ask for forgiveness to those whom you’ve hurt!’

We all know it is very easy to say ‘forgive and ask for forgiveness’ but it is an insurmountable task to do!

Are you hurting today? Have you hurt someone? Are you keeping grudges and bitter? Do you struggle forgiving? Are you wrestling with your feeling on asking for forgiveness? Would you like to get even for those emotional stubbing pains thrusted on you? I am praying for you because I know how it feels, it is my struggle too. We need God’s help specially this Holiday Season – a season of supposedly FORGIVENESS!

In my next blog about ‘Relationship’ I will invite you to survey with me what the Word of God says about the most difficult thing to do in life – forgiving those who offended us!

Relationship is like a garden, if you do not nurture it it will become messy – the flowers, the fruit plants and the vegetation will be overcame by the weeds, those will wither and will eventually die.

There are a lot of challenges in every relationships.  Again like a garden the soil needs to be cultivated, the plants has to be watered and it has to be given nutrients. Do it regularly! If not this relationship will fade away!

The question is: how do we nurture relationships?

St. Paul told the Galatians this, “…Serve one another in LOVE…’Love your neighbor as yourself.’ If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out and you will be destroyed by each other.”

The key word in nurturing a relationship, aside from Love, is SERVE! I don’t mean you becoming a servant or a slave of your friends but I mean you act love to them. When you see the word love in the Bible it is always a verb not a noun. That is why the King James Version of the Bible called it Charity – Love in action!  When you love you serve, you act it out, you do something that will benefit your friend.  You extend yourself even if you do not feel like doing it.

To be very practical, let me suggest: have a time once a month or a week to go out to a gimmick, lunch or dinner with your wife, fiancée/fiance, friends, parents, siblings, kids!  This time technology makes it easy for us to connect with our friends where ever they are! Communicate with your friends in Facebook, Twitter, chat in IM or you can send text messages, on this I strongly do not suggest forwarded messages – by all means please make something personal.

Let me end this post with a challenge: What are you going to do this Christmas to nurture your relationships?

We are dependent with each other.  We need each others’ physical & emotional support.

The writer of one of the books in the Bible, the book of Ecclesiastes said: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up.  But pity is the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”

Our lives will be easier & better if someone is with us to accomplish things, to help us in hard times and to share our joys with!  We need mentors in our business activities, as we perform our jobs, improve our finances, make our marriage better.

There are times we are satisfied with who we have in our friendship circle. We never intend to expand our social networks even if these are rampant in the web world. You will notice if you are like that, that more often than not you hardly grow as a person. On the contrary, having new friends give you new horizons to explore, new learning to know, new characters to discover and even new challenges to pursue!

Expand friendship with those who are older than you are – you will get a part of their wisdom and patience. Be friends with those who are younger than you are – you will be encouraged by their enthusiam and energy. Try being friends with those who are completely opposite of your personality – you will be challenged to exercise love. Offer friendship with those who are financially blessed than you are – you will be blessed likewise. Associate with those who are more intellectual than you are – you will benefit from their intelligence.  Offer friendship with the lowly – you will be humbled. Recruit a non-Filipino friend (if you’re a Filipino, if not have a Filipino friend) – you will learn how to be comfortable outside of your comfort-zone!

A scorpion friend can teach us about venoms too!

Be very cautious though.  The Bible says, “Be wise as a serpent, but be gentle as dove.” That is very true in expanding your circle of friends.

Enjoy new friends this Christmas Season!

The passage above is one of the most quoted sayings of Jesus, but is also the most misapplied quotation!

Why did I say that? Let me show how’d this phrase is commonly used.

When there is a crime done and justice is not served, the victims or the families of the victims will verbatimly use this verse.  When there is corruption, performed by the government officials or corporate officers, the common tao or union members will place this verse in placards while picketing. When there is unfairness in an institution people who are affected use this verse while fighting for their rights etc. etc. This verse is used to express the desire to receive justice and to be granted rights mostly in a large scale. But the one who said that verse, Jesus, is talking about personal dealing with the reason for injustice and human rights.

Another verse written in the same chapter of the ‘truth’ verse, He said, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin.  A slave is not permanent member of the family, but a son is part of the family forever.  So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.” (34, 35)

…the verse first mentioned above was spoken by Jesus in connection with sin that slaves us to many things: becoming addicted to self gratification, the neglect of common good, deny others of our help, happy to get even, intentionally make others lives difficult and make others our slaves both physically and emotionally.

You may say I don’t do that…but please check out the way how do you deal with people everyday. To be quite specific, how do you really treat your espouse, your kids, you parents, your siblings, your house helps, your colleagues, your subordinates, your supervisors, your managers, your clients, the janitors, the building entrance guards, the fast food crew, the waiters and the salesladies?

Jesus said, “…if  you remain faithful to my teachings”…TEACHINGS OF DAILY LOVE IN ACTION…”…you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (31b, 32)

That truth is Jesus’ teachings on the daily wise practice of love (charity), which is the opposite of selfish acts and it will set us free from the awful consequences of treating others badly!

Let us all be personal in practicing this truth so we will be free from experiencing the unfavorable effects of doing otherwise!

Kuya Ef & his children. We can learn a lot from him & from them!

We saw yesterday afternoon and last night the awarding to another Filipino an international recognition! Efren Penaflorida was named CNN 2009 Hero of the Year!

He never harmed anyone to receive such title. You cannot hear any bad issues about his character and no scandal was attached to his name! A friend of mine commented in the You Tube video of his awarding, “I don’t think when he began his community service he was thinking of getting any award and CNN for that matter.’  I likewise think He never thought of gaining thousands of dollars for an award.

He is, I think, our time’s real FILIPINO HERO!  HE IS THE ONE I REALLY THINK DESERVES THE LAKANDULA TITLE!

He was still a very young man when he started the Dream Teen Company. It was the vehicle that made him a hero by helping alleviate the  condition of the out of school children in the slums of his home province!  At his very young age he showed true leadership by mobilizing thousands of volunteers without a promise of financial returns.

I think he was still a child then, so he loved and was concerned with his fellow children.  I think he was still very young then, so he was brave and courageous.  I think he has the youth impetuousness then, that he did things even if his ideas and the process of doing those were difficult.  I think he has that youthful restlessness then, so he focused on his passion.  I think he was at the prime of his health and prowess then, so he didn’t mind the risks of doing what he thought God called him to do!  He gave and still giving his life for the love of children and if you will notice he has retained the youthfulness now at his age!  He changed the lives of many children!  He received worldwide recognition and was rewarded for his great effort!

There are many things we can learn from those who are younger than us, there are many admirable traits we can learn from the children!

Kadalasan mas malinis ang puso ng mga bata at mas maganda ang mga adhikain ng mga mas nakababata kesa atin! Maganda na ating hiramin at ating angkinin ang kanilang mga kabutihan!  Masarap maging bata sa puso at sa gawa!