Payong pwedeng pang takip sa araw at ulan.

“Parapluie” and “Parasol” are two French words for umbrella: yong una pag ang payong ay ginagamit kung tag-ulan (pluie is for rain), yong pangalawa pag ang payong ginamit kung tag-init (sol is for sun).

Earlier when I went down of our residential building for the day’s errands and responsibilities it was raining. I didn’t bring an umbrella because I thought it was just a gloomy day – mainit pa rin kasi sa loob ng bahay. When I saw that it was pouring my first reaction was frustration and irritation.  Kasi aakyat ulit ako eh iisang elevator ang gumagana medyo late na ako sa errands.  I tried asking at the reception if ever they have extra umbrella that I can barrow. The receptionist wasn’t ready for the rain also so she didn’t have one. Sabi ko tuloy, “Nakakainis!”

When I heard myself saying that out loud, I became aware of my awfulness. So selfish of me only thinking of my convenience when the whole country needed the rain since few months earlier! Without complain I went up stairs waiting for 10mins going up and another 10mins going down to get my black banketa-bought ‘parapluie.’ Then proceeded to my chores for the day. The good thing was, I was able to accomplished those before the day ended.

How are you when you experience a little inconvenience? Do you focus on your own frustration and wallow over it? How about thinking of the greater things people needed being provided despite of your small non-comfortability!

This carinderia has no name only “Bulaluhan” - which they serve more than bulalo but all sorts of ‘totoong’ lutong bahay dish. They have seafood, vegetable & the best cooked rice for a carinderia!

Nothing can entice you with an authentic offer of dish - like a Bulalo!

What made it exceptional from all the other carinderias I mentioned in parts 1 and 2 of this blog title?

1. Their service is very personal. Sometimes it goes beyond the usual business relationship. But come to think of it, when it comes to food it is always personal. Joel, the cook, is more often ready to welcome me with a very provincial smile & stories. Jasmine, the server, welcomes me with the recent neighborhood scoop!

2. They knew my gastronomic preferences already. Even before I give my order, they are ready with what I wanted for the day. If there is ginatang langka or fish, I don’t have to say my order, it will be ready in an instant.

3. For a carinderia they are particular with cleanliness. Their place is not fancy but I know that they know sanitation.

4. Their location is accessible – on the corner of 2 busy streets (Vito Cruz & Taft). It can be located easily. Even if their place is very small they are with other carinderias so they can really be a 2nd choice if all the others are busy with customers, which eventually if you will experience their service, they will be your 1st choice. They started as one of my alternatives only!

5. Lastly, they are sticking for what they are – they are expert in their name as ‘Bulaluhan’ and add on the best lutong bahay dishes, that can compete with a mother’s preparation!

Insights: To be well accepted & authentically preferred by other people be it in your neighborhood, workplace or other communities be…

• …also authentically personal in your dealing with other people.
• …be the person that is pleasing both in your body and personality.
• …be available to people.
• …stick to what God would like you to become and develop it to be the best you can be!

Masarap na Maanghang!!!

Today here are the carinderias that I like but still place as my third and second choice…

Carinderia 3: The food of this store is really lutong bahay. The friendly lady-owner told me that her mom is the one who do the marketing and prepares all the food also, in fact it really tasted cooked by a Nanay.  Yet, I noticed one time that this owner was trying to lure me to buy additional food, which I don’t like, so that I will pay more. I know she needs sales but I don’t want to be tricked – specially when it is very evident!

Insight: Be very honest in your relationship with people.  They notice when you are not genuine with what you offer. Ayaw natin ng niloloko tayo di ba?

Carinderia 4: This carinderia has well attractive presentation of their food, which are in fancy Kawalis with banana leaves decoration. The lightings bring more attraction. Their combo meals includes a soup, 2 cups of rice and the main ulam. Yet, their rice smells old no matter how I advise their servers.  So this carinderia is my 2nd choice.

Insight: Be sensitive to the feed back of people on who you are. It helps you to improve.

On the next blog I will share with you the one I find the best of all the carinderias!

please lang po walang personalan...

“Walang personalan, trabaho lang!” [Literal translation: Nothing personal, it's only my job!]

That is a movie-popularized Filipino line that is use by bosses, employees, clients or someone who are doing business in the Philippine business and corporate community. I guess OFW’s, expats and other nationalities are using this line too!

Mostly someone uses this when he feels like he will offend someone  as he acts on a delicate & grave action plan that may affect badly certain individuals in the company or in the business transaction.

To be blunt about it – I don’t believe in this saying!

There is no such thing as job without personal-emotional involvement. All of us are hurt or offended when certain actions are implemented in our workplaces that is unfavorable to us.

There was a study that says “performance in work are directly proportional to the corporate emotional environment.”  Meaning, when you don’t feel good in your workplace due to unfavorable interpersonal relationships, your job’s prowess diminishes – worst you may want to resign & find another job which you think the emotional environment is favorable to you (if there is such a workplace).

We cannot really have a workplace that is always tranquil, but should you wanting to maintain a peaceful inner-self in any kind of workplace environment, let me suggest the following:

• Make every effort to live in peace with all men… (Hebrews 12: 14a)

How will you do it?

• So let’s agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don’t drag them down by finding fault. (Romans 14: 19)
• But if ever you just can’t help to say something that might hurt someone be TACTFUL:  Say the right words in the right time and in the right place!

Lastly, let me share with you a passage that is timeless in having good relationship with other people, in workplaces or in any other places: …be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…( James 1: 19b)

Are there people who irritate you in your workplace? The gossips and those who are only working when the boss is around, or those who feels like he/she is the boss, those who are always negative and irrate but unfortunately affecting the entire staff performance, or those who feel like they know everything and those who feel like your work place is a vacation-getaway!

You just wish they disappear from the surface of the earth but they seemed to be immortal and eternal and to make matters worst they are influencing the saints, like you! Bad of all bad, no amount of calling the attention of the HR officers no action is done!

Here’s a story Jesus told to give you some thoughts to ponder (Matthew 13: 24-30):

There is…”a farmer who planted good seed in the field. But that night…his enemy came and planted weeds among the wheat…When the crop began to grow and produce grain, the weeds also grew.

“The…workers went to him and said, ‘Sir, the field where you planted good seed is full of weeds!…’

“‘Should we pull the weeds?’ They asked.

“‘No,’ he replied, ‘you’ll uproot the wheat if you do. Let both grow together until the harvest. Then I will tell the harvesters to sort out the weeds, tie them into bundles, and burn them, and to put the wheat in the barn.”

Lessons:

1. Our workplace is one of life laboratories where we can practice the virtues we learned.  If there are no places and people like the ones mentioned above, we will not be able to exercise patience and the like attitudes.
2. Many times we only think of our concerns and our seemingly right solution to these concerns, we do not see the big picture and the bad consequences our thoughts may affect the affairs of our entire company.
3. God is more concern with the development of your character than eliminating those things, bad it may seem, that will contribute to your growth as a person.

I hope this thoughts will give you new perspective as you deal with your irritating colleagues!

To answer that question, I would like to present a similarity between physical wound and emotional wound!

Healing of a physical wound is natural but it takes time because healing is a process. Sometimes, specially when the wound is fatal and an infection occurs, a medical intervention is necessary to facilitate good healing. Aside from that, every wound leaves scar, because it damages skin tissues. This scar remains even if the pain is not there anymore. The healing maybe complete but it leaves unfavourable souvenirs!

A scar is a reminder of the wound but the pain isn't there anymore!

Same is true with any offense that causes emotional pain. It is like a knife that slices a wound. It can be very nasty with emotional pain! It is not always good! It can create chaos in life, its healing isn’t easy, it takes time!

God asks us to forgive immediately, like the way He forgives us! He asks us to give Him our anger, our bitterness and hatred and allow Him to handle vengeance! But forgetting the offense, the harm, the hurt and trusting again is another thing. It is like healing, it is a process. It has to be dealt with time. Trust has to be regained!

There are times that we will not forget the offense and the harm but the pain will not be felt anymore. Remembrance of the painful incidents becomes a reminder for the offense not to happen again. It is a reminder that if we sense circumstances leading to an offense and hurt, we learn to excuse ourself from those!

Even if the healing is taking some time, what’s important is to forgive the person who offended us…because in doing so the healing happens!

I pray that we will learn to forgive immediately and bear the memory of the offenses until the time will come when we won’t remember the excruciating emotional pain caused by the offenses and harms done to us!

Bless your emotional healing time!

“We all know it is very easy to say ‘forgive and ask for forgiveness’ but it is an insurmountable task to do!”

Why is it so?

Because most of the times we are paralyze by the fear of the possible pain during the confrontation, so we don’t make a move to ask for an apology or offer forgiveness.

Yet in reality having a severed relationship is more painful than the confrontation. Check it out by asking those people whose families had broken relationships and didn’t move at all for reconciliation and you will hear from them extreme emotional pains.

This time, let us survey what did the Word of God, being the best life standard, says about this difficult act of forgiving and asking for forgiveness.

Mending broken relationships are like mending broken delicate Vases!

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  FORGIVE AS THE LORD FORGAVE YOU.” (Colossians 3:13)

• We’ve got a lot of grievances for someone and someone else have grievances against us, but we’ve got to BEAR with each other.
• Forgive because when you don’t these grievances will become bitterness and hatred, then it will transform you to become suspicious  and miserable.
• Do not allow hurt, anger and bitterness eat you up, it is awful, terribly awful! Try it if you want!
• Forgive immediately! Ask for forgiveness immediately! Do it ASAP as the Lord forgave you! The person who offended you doesn’t need to do something to be forgiven. You don’t have to wait for a sign for you to ask for an apology.

You may ask, how should I forgive immediately, does it mean forgetting the offense? That will be the topic of the next blog!

We are the Apple of God's Eyes!

The very first Bible reading schedule I had for January 1 was Matthew Chapter 1, verses 1-17, the genealogy of Jesus.

I took note that in Jesus’ lineage there were 3 women’s names mentioned. It was a surprise because very seldom a woman’s name was included in a traditional Hebrew (the race of Jesus) family records, because this people had a very strong patriarchal society.  Women were second rate citizens.

It was also noted that the mentioned women were very unpopular and in fact considered least in their extremely conservative ancient community, these women were:

1. Rahab, a non-Hebrew, from Jericho and was a prostitute.
2. Ruth, also a non-Hebrew, a Moabite and was a widow.
3. Bathsheba, an adulteress.

BUT they were included in the record which means they were important and valued!

As I reflected on Jesus’ family record great lessons were impressed on me:

• God doesn’t look at you the way present societies and communities look at you.  You may have done something very wrong last year but God doesn’t label you according to your performance, on the other hand, He regard you based on what you can become! God values you even if… You can have a fresh new start this year!
• By that you can definitely say, no matter what you did in the past, what ever sin you may have committed He is always ready to FORGIVE you. Your parents may have disowned you, but He will not disown you. Your boss may have fired you because of bad evaluation, but He doesn’t keep a bad record. Your closest friends may have abandoned you because you hurt them, but He doesn’t leave you nor forsake you though you offend Him many many times.
• And because He doesn’t keep a bad record and never label you negatively, on the other hand He sees the best you can do and will allow you to be that.  He will use you to produce the best thing for yourself and for others!

Have a great 2010 with the way how God looks at you – You are the Apple of His Eyes! It will set this year right!

Now I’d like to say, BE LINKED TO HIM & HE’LL IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS!  Relationships not only in your family but in your work places, neighborhood & your church as well.

Reasons for awful relationships are attitudes of big-headedness, self-centeredness & pride.  People with these attitudes are pain in the *** & are irritants.  Nobody would like to be with them.  They are miserable and they would like other people, specially those whom they love, to become miserable also (that’s terrible isn’t it?).  They easily get hurt, wreck their own relationships & the relationships of people around them.

Think of someone like that…if you can’t think of anyone it is YOU!

A promise of a good relationship this 2010!

If it is you and you would like this year to have better relationships be connected to God & He will create in you a new person with a humble heart! He will transform you to become a person who is genuinely interested & concern with other people.  He will make you a person who doesn’t try to impress others to be accepted.  He will make you give up the thought that you are always right & not insist with others what you want.

The Bible said you will become a person who is ‘quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…’ Or you will become a person who ‘Seek first to understand, than to be understood’  (as Stephen Covey worded it).

If you become a humble person before God, He will make you a person who accepts your faults & accepts your dependency to Him & to other people.  You will be come a person who will learn to say the two most important lines in the world: “I was wrong” and “I need help.”

Then people will be attracted to you and as a result your relationships will become better if not the best!

May your 2010 be filled with great relationships!